


Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons

by pokeystar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Art, Gen, Parody, Poetry, Rhyme, Shel Silverstein, buttons, thanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-10
Updated: 2010-11-10
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokeystar/pseuds/pokeystar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape's sartorial vanities cause him problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons

**Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons**

 

Exceptionally punctual Severus Snape  
Justly prided himself on never being late  
When one lazy morning he woke at half of eight  
To gaze with dismay at  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

With regret he skipped breakfast, boy was he cranky  
A very good thing Hogwarts disallowed spankies  
Down in the cold dungeon, all darky and danky  
Pupils froze in fear of  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

His demeanor dour, by lunch did not improve  
Summons to the Dark Lord further blackened his mood  
To his Master he was snappish and rather rude  
Felt Crucio in all  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

A post-torture pants change earned him the shortest straw  
Missing the staff meeting really stuck in his craw  
Being conferred Gryff patrol, his ice did not thaw  
Even his peers dodged  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

A most inopportune and ill-timed W.C. break  
Spoiled the potion he was attempting to make  
So many buttons to clasp, he'd had all he could take  
S. Snape was fed up with  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

Head of House duties called in the middle of night  
Hurriedly dressing, much too late to prevent a fight  
Lucius would be displeased, when he heard of the bite  
Sev denounced each of  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

These summons to the Death Eaters were getting old  
How rich he would be, for every torture paid gold  
Elder Malfoy's skills rivaled his Master's tenfold  
What could be done about  
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

All this time, house-elf eyes watched the Black Bat's struggle  
For means of relief, elves sought while duties they juggled  
Hermione told Dobby of a solution Muggle  
Elves grabbed his clothes graced by   
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

Little hands sewed all night to appease the spy's woe  
Loyalty to the man with a Patronus doe  
By dawn every jacket bore a strip of Velcro  
Hidden behind rows of   
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

____spacer____

Drawing by Thanfiction

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: Entry from Potter Place's Anything Goes Challenge, answer to prompt 59: What if someone (pairing of your choice) introduced Snape to Velcro? No more buttons! Further acknowledgement of inspiration due to Pookah, who asked for house-elves, and Shel Silverstein. I miss you, Uncle Shelby. Many thanks to my beta, Elyaeru.


End file.
